Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Step Away From The Mouse

The value of good girlfriends cannot be underestimated. Two nights before my ovaries/fallopian tubes/uterus surgery, my friends came over to keep me company and share some laughs. I baked a most delicious cake in the shape of a uterus, complete with gummy worms to represent the fallopian tubes and cupcakes topped with M&Ms to represent the ovaries & eggs. A few glasses of Champagne later, I open up the "Fuck the Hormones Basket O' Goodies." Screw you, Menopause! I'm getting some presents: Pocket Rocket vibrator, K-Y Jelly, soft washcloth (for those pesky night sweats), and a couple of other fun treats. Thank you, ladies!!

Meanwhile, I put my basket o' goodies on a low shelf in my home office located just off my bedroom. A few days after surgery, I am hanging out in bed when my 5 year old, who is rustling around in the office, comes out with the Pocket Rocket in his hand.

"Mommy, what's this?"

Without missing a beat, I say, "Honey, put that down. It's something for Mommy's (pause) computer."

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