Saturday, February 20, 2010

Fipple and Other Fun Words

I want to start a running glossary list of all the new and extremely fun BRCA and BC words that Tasha and I have learned and/or made up:

Anything with the word "Foob" means Fake + Boob. Foob. Say it loud and proud!

2.) FIPPLE. This is like Foob, but for nipples. Fake + Nipple = Fipple. Fipples give visual closure to the Foobs.

3.) PIE CRUST FOOB. Well, this is when you sometimes get an unfortunate and annoying complication of a Foob settling in a weird way, creating dimpling that looks like a pie crust freshly made with thumb prints in it. Replacing the Foob implant with a nice new one a little bit larger resolves the problem.

4.) ANGRY EYES. A la Mr. Potato Head. For those who have upgraded and gotten larger Foobs than pre-mastectomy cup sizes, there is an interesting side effect when the Fipple is added. Fipples are located below the original mastectomy scars. The scars look a lot like eyebrows (at least until they fade) and the Fipples look a lot like eyes. Thus the rather disconcerting "Angry Eyes" effect.

5.) APPALACHIAN MOUNTAIN BOOB. This is when surgery/radiation makes the boob look like what happens to the tops of mountains in Appalachia. Easily explained with a slash motion of the hand. Not to be confused with the "Hiking the Appalachian Trail" concept.

6.) AQUARIUM BELLY. After a hysterectomy, the tummy swells up a lot and makes many sloshing, gurgling, bubbling noises. Looks and feels like a 55 gallon fish tank is lodged in there. Especially noticeable in bed when turning over from back to side.

7.) FAT-N-SURLY. This is another name for the drug Tamoxifen, which is used to treat and prevent breast cancer. In addition, "Fat-N-Surly" is a good name to describe pretty much how all women feel after surgery.

I know there are more definitions out there. Feel free to add.

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