Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Fipplegate


Today was the day I was supposed to get my fipples tattooed. The final step in a yearlong process! Totally exciting. I thought about what shade-- maybe a nice bright magenta for spring? I also thought about what shape-- should I be bold and choose a heart or a star instead of some boring circle? I arrive and am ushered in to the onsite surgical room. The Physician's Assistant comes in (I know her from all of my prior appointments) and she gets right to work. We decide on a rather innocuous flesh shade. She takes out a super long needle and gives me some local anesthetic on the right Foob. NOTE: One benefit post surgery is that super long needles stuck directly into a Foob don't really hurt! Not a ton of sensation. I ask her about restrictions, i.e. no swimming, etc. She tells me that I can't take off the big square puffy bandages for one week.

HOLD ON! I was not informed that there would be big square puffy bandages involved in this procedure. I did get a tattoo about 20 years ago in a seedy Chicago tattoo parlor and I really don't remember any bandages. Perhaps not the best comparable? Anyhoo, I was pretty perturbed because this weekend is the 10 year wedding anniversary trip to New York City. Big puffy fipple bandages do not work with my chic wardrobe selections. Big puffy fipple bandages are not really a major aphrodisiac either.

Luckily, the PA was really, really cool and rescheduled me for next week. So, my numb Foob and I drove off, tattoo-less but looking forward to a fab NYC weekend.


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