Monday, April 5, 2010


I was sitting in my dermatologist's office, getting my yearly mole examination and overall skin check, about 2 weeks before my hysterectomy. I'm telling my doctor about my upcoming surgery and unbidden, she tells me the following lovely story:

"Ooooooohhhh, you are going to REALLY have to watch what you eat. I mean, you can EASILY put on like 20 pounds after a hysterectomy. Even if you EXERCISE. You will have to eat NOTHING just to stay the same weight. My friend, who is a DOCTOR, had a hysterectomy and gained tons of weight. And she did NOTHING DIFFERENT. She exercised constantly and was on a strict DIET. She is SO MISERABLE.

OK, your moles look great! Oh, and I'll see you after your surgery because you will need all new products. Your skin will get SO DRY."

I am literally like, FFFFFFUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!! Do I need to get a sidecar after surgery for my ass? What the hell should I expect? And why in God's name would she volunteer that kind of information? I mean, even if I totally chunk out post surgery, let me chunk out on my own without some kind of apocalyptic fat prediction!

Meanwhile, I can say that I am now 8 weeks post surgery and things seem relatively the same. Perhaps it's my cute & friendly Estrogen Patch! Hi there, little Vivelle Dot. Who knows.

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